Hi, my name is Caroline and I'm addicted to diet coke. I've been clean for 26 days. My longest time clean was up until age 23. Since that time I spent about 4 1/2 months clean. At my worst I would drink a MickeyD's XL.
Now this is something I take somewhat as a joke but half seriously too. I really am addicted to Diet Coke. I just hear someone opening a pop can and I itch for and crave a dc so badly. It's not just the caffeine or being thirsty. I've tried replacing it with other beverages with no success. Sure diet coke might not be so bad for you, though it is far from good. Entirely synthetic, all fake sweeteners (no wonder I can't tone my lower abs.... jk) And like a true addict I try to make excuses like... two of my best friends drink a lot of it, or I'll just have one after a long run as a reward for getting through 14, 17, 19, etc miles (I was marathon training), or I'll just have one a week to keep me satisfied. Let me tell you folks, it is a blessing that it is not something more serious that I crave or I might be in big trouble. Sometimes that one a week is enough and yes it was always as a study reward to a study break to go get one. I never keep it in the house. Well I severely relapsed while on my cardiology rotation. The kitchen in the office was stocked, I could have as many a day as I wanted although I never exceeded 1. Or I could get fountain cokes from the cafeteria because my wonderful resident always put my meals on his card. Aside, he also encouraged my habit! rude! But enough about my silly minor addiction. Diet coke may make me run slower, feel not so hot, and have to burp but there are far worse things in life
I'm currently rotating at Cook County Hospital in the outpatient psych clinic. I'm sure you can imagine the crowd drawn to a county psych unit. Yes its exactly what you think and yes, I am very thankful for my sheltered and safe life. I've never personally known real abuse, extensive drug addictions, real killings, real shootings, real violence, etc. Some of the patients I've seen hardly bat an eye as they tell me about the time they tried to kill their best friend or how growing up their mother would give them Valium telling them it was a vitamin and then proceed to sexually abuse them. This is only skimming the surface. While I well know drugs and alcohol are never the answer and never have been for me I can almost empathize with why these people turn to drugs. And this is coming from someone who is sunshine and flowers half the time and have a list of "coping" / "de-stressing" methods that could fill pages. While I want to run away from my situation temporarily here and there (and so physically run I do) I've never NEEDED to find a true escape and an altered mentality just to face the pain of the day.
Please don't mistake this for approving in anyway shape or form the drug habits of the people in this country and abroad. Instead next time you meet a druggie or start to gossip about someone using a substance consider for at least a moment the WHY behind the use. I've come to realize that only about 1 in 15 of the people I've seen have started using drugs just because they were there.
While psychiatry is not where I see myself ending up in just about 21 months I have to say I will be taking a lot away from the second floor of the Fantus building. I think some of the strongest people I know are the patients I've met who have remained clean from their drug of choice and all others for years and years and are day by day working to continue to beat their addiction despite the world many of them are surrounded by practically encouraging them to fall back into old habits. I never actually want to walk a day in any of their shoes but I value immensely the insight each pt has given me into my own life and the appreciation I have for where I have come from, what I am doing, and where I have the potential to get to.
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