Because God has made us for Himself,
our hearts are restless
until they rest in Him
~~Confessions, Saint Augustine~~
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
While in mandatory 4 hour lecture for Internal Med this afternoon (mind you it only lasted 2 and they make us drive all the way out there) I used my time wisely and happened upon this on the schools website
http://www.midwestern.edu/News_and_Events/University_News/Midwestern_Ranked_6th_in_Nation_of_Best_Places_to_Work_in_Academia.html
hahahahahahaha, as if.
Kate and I decided that the only way this is true is if salary of researchers ranks high on their criteria, then it explains where all my tuition money goes.
http://www.midwestern.edu/News_and_Events/University_News/Midwestern_Ranked_6th_in_Nation_of_Best_Places_to_Work_in_Academia.html
hahahahahahaha, as if.
Kate and I decided that the only way this is true is if salary of researchers ranks high on their criteria, then it explains where all my tuition money goes.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Another one bites the dust
I passed I passed I passed!!!
I took two versions of the medical boards and I passed them both. One decently and the other with a score I'm happy with :) I will not end up in rural Idaho for a family med residency. I'm not limited in the fields I'm interested in. No, I won't be doing surgery at a big academic center, but I never wanted that anyway. I don't care to sit in an ivory tower in medicine. I'm here to help people. And now I can move forward, focus on an upcoming shelf exam, and not get a nauseous feeling in my stomach whenever anyone talks about boards. hahaha except in 1 year I'l be taking step 2. It really never ends. Taking both of those plus the physical exam section that accompanies them will cost me a couple thousand dollars it seems, good grief. I'll think about later though. For now... HORRAY! I just wish I'd had the time and energy to do some celebrating. Nope, worked late 4 nights this week and have to work a call shift tonight, though my resident told me I've worked hard enough all week she won't make me stay all night. yippee!!! I get to run my 10K in the AM.
I feel like I can finally move forward confidently in my education. Its one of the few times in my life I have actually been proud of myself. One others when I opened my college diploma to see the honors status under my degree (I wasn't sure if I'd made the gpa cut until that moment) and when I finished the 2010 Chicago Marathon. I really struggled some days training for that one what with giving things up over the summer and taking time from an education I'm paying about 50 grand a year for. I guess I was also pretty proud of myself for getting my life together this past year and improving my medical school grades all year. Not that they're super stellar but I like to say B's are for Balanced and Blonde (my mom added that one, Kate came up with the first).
To be honest, why I'm so proud of these scores is in the past I have not been the most successful at working far in advance on things and sticking with them (also why I was proud of this past marathon). My MCAT studying was a complete failure, somehow I still pulled a score that would get me into schools on that but I have no idea how. I was afraid with boards my studying would become just like that of the mcat. I know I could have done more, I refused to fully give up my life and probably never put more than 9 hours a day in. I always cooked nice meals for myself and got in a workout at least 6 days a week. Yes yes I did isolate myself in MI for 10 days, but even there I took plenty of time and watched a movie to chill in the evenings. But I pulled through, and that's what I'm most proud of. I didn't quit halfway there (there were days I wanted to), I made myself keep going and it paid off. Now that I know how to study for these things I even see an improvement for my Step 2 score. Proof that hard-work and perseverance pays off, parents are right, funny how that works.
I took two versions of the medical boards and I passed them both. One decently and the other with a score I'm happy with :) I will not end up in rural Idaho for a family med residency. I'm not limited in the fields I'm interested in. No, I won't be doing surgery at a big academic center, but I never wanted that anyway. I don't care to sit in an ivory tower in medicine. I'm here to help people. And now I can move forward, focus on an upcoming shelf exam, and not get a nauseous feeling in my stomach whenever anyone talks about boards. hahaha except in 1 year I'l be taking step 2. It really never ends. Taking both of those plus the physical exam section that accompanies them will cost me a couple thousand dollars it seems, good grief. I'll think about later though. For now... HORRAY! I just wish I'd had the time and energy to do some celebrating. Nope, worked late 4 nights this week and have to work a call shift tonight, though my resident told me I've worked hard enough all week she won't make me stay all night. yippee!!! I get to run my 10K in the AM.
I feel like I can finally move forward confidently in my education. Its one of the few times in my life I have actually been proud of myself. One others when I opened my college diploma to see the honors status under my degree (I wasn't sure if I'd made the gpa cut until that moment) and when I finished the 2010 Chicago Marathon. I really struggled some days training for that one what with giving things up over the summer and taking time from an education I'm paying about 50 grand a year for. I guess I was also pretty proud of myself for getting my life together this past year and improving my medical school grades all year. Not that they're super stellar but I like to say B's are for Balanced and Blonde (my mom added that one, Kate came up with the first).
To be honest, why I'm so proud of these scores is in the past I have not been the most successful at working far in advance on things and sticking with them (also why I was proud of this past marathon). My MCAT studying was a complete failure, somehow I still pulled a score that would get me into schools on that but I have no idea how. I was afraid with boards my studying would become just like that of the mcat. I know I could have done more, I refused to fully give up my life and probably never put more than 9 hours a day in. I always cooked nice meals for myself and got in a workout at least 6 days a week. Yes yes I did isolate myself in MI for 10 days, but even there I took plenty of time and watched a movie to chill in the evenings. But I pulled through, and that's what I'm most proud of. I didn't quit halfway there (there were days I wanted to), I made myself keep going and it paid off. Now that I know how to study for these things I even see an improvement for my Step 2 score. Proof that hard-work and perseverance pays off, parents are right, funny how that works.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Congrats!
Way to go Rhodes, staying in the top 50 colleges/universities in the country! (though you've dropped since I've been there... hmmmm)
http://www.forbes.com/lists/2010/94/best-colleges-10_Americas-Best-Colleges_Rank_2.html
# 46 this year!
I do miss this place sometimes. Midwestern campus, you don't come even close to comparing, not on any level, none, nada. Good memories :) Crazy how long ago it all seems
(sorry, I'm still not going to donate)
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A new church family
Today I tried my 3rd new church in the area surrounding my lovely new abode and I think I've found "the one" I happened across this church last Sunday while out for a run. With this church meeting only 4 blocks from my apartment I thought, why not check it out next week, am I ever happy I did. I walked in surprised at how full the auditorium was. Usually when I try a new church and am going alone I have no problem finding a seat... just one seat. I had to look around today. I ended up finding two empty together, perfect, I don't always like sitting right next to other people. Strangers, friends, fellow believers... makes no difference. Well that didn't really matter because 3 minutes later the seat next to me was filled anyway. Music was simple and lovely, no over the top dramatics. There was a family committing their child to Christ and Communion today. Perfect day to start at a new church.
But it was the sermon that was truly a delight. The pastor read out of II Samuel, the story about David giving up his throne. This come after his several years of corruption with Bathsheba and his one son raping his daughter and then another son of his killing that first son. Followed by banishment of the murdering son... It's always interesting to learn from the scandal that goes down in the OT. While I fairly extensively studied Kind David in college I'm never surprised to find there is more to learn about him. He's always held up as a "man of God"... but if you really read its amazing he's kept this title, certainly gives the rest of us hope :) I'll cut to the chase and skip the run around on this one. The message centered around David sacrificing several things for the will of God... he wasn't so sure he was meant to be king at this point anymore. He gave it all up, saved his household and army from a war, gave up all his power, risked his own life to exit peacefully. And for this he was blessed. So what does it take for us to sacrifice it all for Christ? And what might that look like in our lives? I think it might be something a little different for everyone. Considering the general populous in the congregation and where I'm living the pastor focussed on careers, dating, and life plans. I'll be the first to say, I hold on to a lot of things myself. While I know most are out of my hands and can be hard to nearly impossible to give control of these things over to God. Not just say you are, but actually do just that. It's given me a good deal to think about. I've recently spent time with a spiritual but non-believing individual. I spent a good bit of time praying about the relationship and was led to the right answer. I knew in my gut from day one it wasn't meant to go anywhere, but it took some support from something other than myself to voice this and fully realize it. I have no doubt the right choice was made. When if comes to school (I have no career yet) I wish I could just put it all in God's hands and sit back and coast. Unfortunately I know that's not what's meant by giving it to God. I need to put the effort in to learning and studying and building relationships with patients and he will bring me through it all with sound mind and a solid grasp on where I'm meant to head.
But enough on the sermon, I'm the furthest thing from a preacher... though I am considering obtaining a Masters in Divinity down the road. The other thing that was truly refreshing about this church was the extent of young people. There were some families and some middle aged couples, but the vast majority of the audience was full of young adults aged 20 to about 35 from all walks of life choosing of their own volition to spend their Sunday morning at church.... and not all alone or with just one other person there, they were there with groups of friends. I was so pleasantly surprised by this because recently it seems everywhere I go I meet people that scoff at the idea of organized religion and living their life to a standard other than their own. The guy that sat down next to me, Drew, was very friendly and inviting. Asked if I wanted to join him and his friends at the picnic right after church. I politely declined as I had a list of things to do today (and my schedule starting tomorrow could potentially be crazy for the next 4 weeks), but I did head over to the information table where I met Kristi and learned about small groups and how to get plugged in. She also invited me to the picnic, and when I again declined, took my number and asked if I'd be down to get dinner sometime or maybe join in their small group. I don't think I've ever felt so welcome in any congregation.
The Park Community Church in Lincoln Park, thank you for a lovely Sunday morning, I'll definitely be back!
For anyone else trying to find a church in Chicago I'd love if you'd join me! Park meets at 2233 Clark at 10 o'clock. They also have two other locations in the city. Here's their link http://www.parkcommunitychurch.org/
But it was the sermon that was truly a delight. The pastor read out of II Samuel, the story about David giving up his throne. This come after his several years of corruption with Bathsheba and his one son raping his daughter and then another son of his killing that first son. Followed by banishment of the murdering son... It's always interesting to learn from the scandal that goes down in the OT. While I fairly extensively studied Kind David in college I'm never surprised to find there is more to learn about him. He's always held up as a "man of God"... but if you really read its amazing he's kept this title, certainly gives the rest of us hope :) I'll cut to the chase and skip the run around on this one. The message centered around David sacrificing several things for the will of God... he wasn't so sure he was meant to be king at this point anymore. He gave it all up, saved his household and army from a war, gave up all his power, risked his own life to exit peacefully. And for this he was blessed. So what does it take for us to sacrifice it all for Christ? And what might that look like in our lives? I think it might be something a little different for everyone. Considering the general populous in the congregation and where I'm living the pastor focussed on careers, dating, and life plans. I'll be the first to say, I hold on to a lot of things myself. While I know most are out of my hands and can be hard to nearly impossible to give control of these things over to God. Not just say you are, but actually do just that. It's given me a good deal to think about. I've recently spent time with a spiritual but non-believing individual. I spent a good bit of time praying about the relationship and was led to the right answer. I knew in my gut from day one it wasn't meant to go anywhere, but it took some support from something other than myself to voice this and fully realize it. I have no doubt the right choice was made. When if comes to school (I have no career yet) I wish I could just put it all in God's hands and sit back and coast. Unfortunately I know that's not what's meant by giving it to God. I need to put the effort in to learning and studying and building relationships with patients and he will bring me through it all with sound mind and a solid grasp on where I'm meant to head.
But enough on the sermon, I'm the furthest thing from a preacher... though I am considering obtaining a Masters in Divinity down the road. The other thing that was truly refreshing about this church was the extent of young people. There were some families and some middle aged couples, but the vast majority of the audience was full of young adults aged 20 to about 35 from all walks of life choosing of their own volition to spend their Sunday morning at church.... and not all alone or with just one other person there, they were there with groups of friends. I was so pleasantly surprised by this because recently it seems everywhere I go I meet people that scoff at the idea of organized religion and living their life to a standard other than their own. The guy that sat down next to me, Drew, was very friendly and inviting. Asked if I wanted to join him and his friends at the picnic right after church. I politely declined as I had a list of things to do today (and my schedule starting tomorrow could potentially be crazy for the next 4 weeks), but I did head over to the information table where I met Kristi and learned about small groups and how to get plugged in. She also invited me to the picnic, and when I again declined, took my number and asked if I'd be down to get dinner sometime or maybe join in their small group. I don't think I've ever felt so welcome in any congregation.
The Park Community Church in Lincoln Park, thank you for a lovely Sunday morning, I'll definitely be back!
For anyone else trying to find a church in Chicago I'd love if you'd join me! Park meets at 2233 Clark at 10 o'clock. They also have two other locations in the city. Here's their link http://www.parkcommunitychurch.org/
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Clubbing
It seems like no matter where we are in life we find ourselves in various "clubs" in society whether we mean to or not. By "clubs" I don't mean something you register for, or something a superficial glance might classify you as, or even roles like mother/friend/teacher/etc. By clubs I mean things you do / enjoy / that are an inherent part of you. Ways you relate to others with similar interests, you know, things that might not be so obvious about someone at first glance just walking down the street one day. I, for example am a part of the Doctors in Training club. Seeing me out and about fluffing left and right one would never guess that I'm pursuing a career in medicine. Even when people ask what I do and after answering I'm a student... in grad school... in the health sciences.... in medical school... I still get oh so you're going to be a nurse!? That's so great. Medical school people = doctor. I don't even want to go into this right now. Another club I'm in is that I'm a dog lover. I don't even have my own dog to come to right now, but what I wouldn't give for a life amenable to having a cuddly creature to come home to every day. I'll often even say my life would be perfect if only I had a dog. But reality... the whole Doctor in Training thing doesn't really allow for a new puppy. There is also the money issue what with somedays needing a dog walker and such, just not going to happen. I suppose I'm also in the "love to cook" club and the "neurotic about eating healthfully" club.
I've recently gotten into the road biking club. I've got a bike a love, have learned the rules of the road, can clip and in and out without making a fool of myself (usually), can get my bike on and off in a trainer quickly, and working on putting some speed on flat tire changes, I can clean and grease my own chain, and I own multiple means of inflating tires. I've even had a mild crash. I've come to love a long ride, especially with company. I've quickly accumulated multiple padded bike shorts and don't think twice about them making my butt look big. Shirts with pockets in the back rock my world and I prefer one pocket to zipper (not to be picky) I've come to hate people walking on trails, and hate even more than before smokers on bike paths. However one of my biggest annoyances regarding this sport are bikers on busy trails that wear headphones and ride in the center of a path or road. Geniuses, all of them. They come pretty close to the brilliant individuals not wearing helmets. Yes the ruin your hair and make you sweat and you may even look a little silly in them. But they can save your life. However despite my new found "club" and love for the sport every time I'm out on the a bike/run path i feel like something is missing.
So what is it?
Well, while it is still early in the season I'm very aware I've lost membership in a significant club from last summer... the marathon training club.
Yes, I still run but my max distance recently has been a mere 7 miles. I'm pretty sure with proper pacing I could get through a half marathon right now but I don't want to think about the pain I'd feel the next day. Sadly this makes me feel out of shape. that sounds crazy to think about. My bp is back down to pre boards range and my pulse is in check and holding at a 48. I can get out a 6:42 mile if I need to. Just one and yes I did recently head to a track to time this. Still I feel inadequate quitting this club. I of course blame it on medical school. I start a surgery rotation the week before the Chicago Marathon. Thus marathon running didn't seem to be the best idea I've ever had. I gave up a lot and went through a bit of pain for that one 26.2 mile run last October. In the summer I'd skip going out many nights in exchange for a 5 am wake up and long run before it got too hot out. I dealt with a sprained ankle, many blisters, and an irritated anterior tibial muscle giving me a foot drop every so often. I turned down a couple date to instead run. (No wonder I'm so lucky with the boys... maybe I could just find myself a fellow psychotically active and busy individual who want's to spend all his spare time at his Vo2 max?) In my defense I did invite one guy with on my run, he politely declined. Understandably so, it was a 14 miler. Despite frustration and disappointment, and grumbling at early AM alarms once I hit a trail and saw other crazy marathon training individuals I immediately felt 100% better. We all shared a similar goal. How did I know who was training and who wasn't? well I really didn't know for sure but somehow it was easy to get a good idea of it. It was definitely obvious come long runs late August and September when you'd see men with bloody nipples around 8:30 AM. There are also the dead give a ways in the Team in Training jerseys and those wearing "I'm training for 10-10-10" cheesy shirts. As ironic as it may seem, I miss this. Yes, even the 5 am weekend wake ups.
Therefore I'm currently in the process of checking ebay and various running boards for discounted marathon entry posts. Right now it looks like most people are selling their bibs for face value. No go for me. But I'm also in the process of looking into just what this surgery rotation of mine might be like and if I'll survive the first week of it and might be able to get 48 hours in a row entirely off. If I hear that the schedule is manageable I'm in as soon as I find a bib going for under $100. If I hear that there is no way the Burn unit will give me the weekend off... well then there's always a marathon in the area in September, but that I'm not sure if I can be ready for.... 2 1/2 months???
This afternoon I ran with the Nike Running Club. They're currently running with pace groups for the marathon. Ugh, this made it all that much more painful to not have an entry. Though it was delightful to again get in with a run club, especially one made up of people of all abilities and ages, not just old people :) Getting to try out the newest Nike shoes didn't hurt either.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!!! I mean how can you resist this... check out the link
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150371212230037
I've recently gotten into the road biking club. I've got a bike a love, have learned the rules of the road, can clip and in and out without making a fool of myself (usually), can get my bike on and off in a trainer quickly, and working on putting some speed on flat tire changes, I can clean and grease my own chain, and I own multiple means of inflating tires. I've even had a mild crash. I've come to love a long ride, especially with company. I've quickly accumulated multiple padded bike shorts and don't think twice about them making my butt look big. Shirts with pockets in the back rock my world and I prefer one pocket to zipper (not to be picky) I've come to hate people walking on trails, and hate even more than before smokers on bike paths. However one of my biggest annoyances regarding this sport are bikers on busy trails that wear headphones and ride in the center of a path or road. Geniuses, all of them. They come pretty close to the brilliant individuals not wearing helmets. Yes the ruin your hair and make you sweat and you may even look a little silly in them. But they can save your life. However despite my new found "club" and love for the sport every time I'm out on the a bike/run path i feel like something is missing.
So what is it?
Well, while it is still early in the season I'm very aware I've lost membership in a significant club from last summer... the marathon training club.
Yes, I still run but my max distance recently has been a mere 7 miles. I'm pretty sure with proper pacing I could get through a half marathon right now but I don't want to think about the pain I'd feel the next day. Sadly this makes me feel out of shape. that sounds crazy to think about. My bp is back down to pre boards range and my pulse is in check and holding at a 48. I can get out a 6:42 mile if I need to. Just one and yes I did recently head to a track to time this. Still I feel inadequate quitting this club. I of course blame it on medical school. I start a surgery rotation the week before the Chicago Marathon. Thus marathon running didn't seem to be the best idea I've ever had. I gave up a lot and went through a bit of pain for that one 26.2 mile run last October. In the summer I'd skip going out many nights in exchange for a 5 am wake up and long run before it got too hot out. I dealt with a sprained ankle, many blisters, and an irritated anterior tibial muscle giving me a foot drop every so often. I turned down a couple date to instead run. (No wonder I'm so lucky with the boys... maybe I could just find myself a fellow psychotically active and busy individual who want's to spend all his spare time at his Vo2 max?) In my defense I did invite one guy with on my run, he politely declined. Understandably so, it was a 14 miler. Despite frustration and disappointment, and grumbling at early AM alarms once I hit a trail and saw other crazy marathon training individuals I immediately felt 100% better. We all shared a similar goal. How did I know who was training and who wasn't? well I really didn't know for sure but somehow it was easy to get a good idea of it. It was definitely obvious come long runs late August and September when you'd see men with bloody nipples around 8:30 AM. There are also the dead give a ways in the Team in Training jerseys and those wearing "I'm training for 10-10-10" cheesy shirts. As ironic as it may seem, I miss this. Yes, even the 5 am weekend wake ups.
Therefore I'm currently in the process of checking ebay and various running boards for discounted marathon entry posts. Right now it looks like most people are selling their bibs for face value. No go for me. But I'm also in the process of looking into just what this surgery rotation of mine might be like and if I'll survive the first week of it and might be able to get 48 hours in a row entirely off. If I hear that the schedule is manageable I'm in as soon as I find a bib going for under $100. If I hear that there is no way the Burn unit will give me the weekend off... well then there's always a marathon in the area in September, but that I'm not sure if I can be ready for.... 2 1/2 months???
This afternoon I ran with the Nike Running Club. They're currently running with pace groups for the marathon. Ugh, this made it all that much more painful to not have an entry. Though it was delightful to again get in with a run club, especially one made up of people of all abilities and ages, not just old people :) Getting to try out the newest Nike shoes didn't hurt either.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!!! I mean how can you resist this... check out the link
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150371212230037
Friday, July 1, 2011
"People sometimes sneer at those who run every day, claiming they’ll go to any length to live longer. But don’t think that’s the reason most people run. Most runners run not because they want to live longer, but because they want to live life to the fullest. If you’re going to while away the years, it’s far better to live them with clear goals and fully alive then in a fog, and I believe running helps you to do that. Exerting yourself to the fullest within your individual limits: that’s the essence of running, and a metaphor for life — and for me, for writing as whole. I believe many runners would agree"
— Haruki Murakami (What I Talk About When I Talk About Running)
One thing I've realized these past two years is that it is important to have shared goals and your own goals. My current shared goals are success throughout medical school. But I always knew I needed my own outside of school. And while I love company during my workouts, runs, rides , swims, etc... its something I've never fully shared a passion for with anyone. These times are always my plans and my goals for that day or for training for an upcoming race. Sometimes I think how great it might feel to accomplish these things fully with another but in the end I know, some things are just sweeter when you know you were able to push yourself to succeed on your own. I've felt more fulfilled and alive after a finishing a challenging race or pushing myself through a long workout than any single exam, finals week, or even after boards. I never feel like I deserve anything special, its simply a sense of self satisfaction
(Because I don't want to take any credit for actually reading that book, I took the quote from a friend's blog, it just seemed fitting)
(Because I don't want to take any credit for actually reading that book, I took the quote from a friend's blog, it just seemed fitting)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)